Wanted: A Better Grade of Troll

Recently, the schoolyard's been infected with a relatively large influx of internet trolls. (Either that, or it's just one obsessively deranged individual with a bunch of sock-puppets, a possibility too terrifying to really entertain.) The real problem is that it's the same old thing. Vague generalizations about how stupid I am, and/or stated concerns about my precarious mental health. Sometimes I'm in the mood to play with these trolls, to either back them into a corner to get them to actually attempt to prove that I'm as contemptibly stupid as they say, or to establish that they really have no ability to genuinely critique me and they're forced by necessity to resort to meaningless assertions.

I'm getting bored with this though. So my thinking here is to type this once-and-for-all entry that I can re-post anytime these individuals (or this one, pathetic individual) shows up with the usual garbage.

Here's the thing trolls: I don't know who you are. Your opinions about me are therefore unimportant to me. When you go to the trouble of typing out that you have a low opinion of me it has absolutely no impact. It has less than zero impact actually, because it's my belief that most of the people typing these stupid things do so because they're stupid people who believed in Saddam Hussein's WMDs, in bush II's policies and in stephen harper's brilliance. The empty insults from such people are like a validation of my blog.

If you REALLY want to make me feel bad, show me that I'm stupid. Show me that I fucked up. Show me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I'll feel embarrassed, maybe even humiliated. But you know what else? In the end, the world will be a better place because you'll have taught me something, and you'll always have that over me.

If, however, you respond with words to the effect of "Why should I bother debating with an insane man/moron/leftist moonbat/stupid canuck/etc., etc., ad nauseum" then I'll only assume (rightly, obviously!) that you're actually incapable of destroying my views and defending your own.

Here's one of the latest examples of this meaningless criticism, provided by the dull-witted "vin":

Nice try twack,but the only embarassment here is your blog.It's quite rare to see this amount of bullshite all in one place.Yet here your blog sits like a steaming pile.How is that you can be so completly wrong in nearly everyway possible.That's quite an accomplishment.One would think that by blind,stupid,dumb luck you'd be right about something/anything at least once in awhile but no, you don't even have that going your way.Just another pompous pud looking for something to say.The fact that you take yourself so seriously is the real kicker .It's fantastic to see someone so absolutely sure of their own correctness in spite of everyday reason and common sense. battle.It wouldn't be so bad but your drivel is so stale.Can't you at least update it?

Notice that there's nothing in there specifically pertaining to anything I've actually said or done. It's just a string of insulting words that could be applied to anyone. Why should I care about this paragraph of insults? How could I feel embarrassed about how my writing inspires such bile when there's absolutely nothing in there to tie to my writing? Why should I feel sad or angry that somebody with the pseudonym "vin" or someone anonymous wrote this string of meaningless words? Why should I even care?

It says that I'm "completly wrong in nearly everyway possible" but it doesn't say how. It's even the case apparently that I haven't ever been right "by blind,stupid,dumb luck," but there's no evidence for this assertion.

I mean, really, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this drivel? Why would anyone even bother to go through the exertions of typing it? You could go to a conference on world experts on rocket-science and shout that same string of words at the world's foremost scientists and it would be just as meaningless, just as inapplicable. One would have to be an absolute idiot to imagine that I, or anyone else, would be at all affected by those words. And that's what causes me to think that my trolls are genuine right-wing opponents of my ideas. Because most right-wing beliefs are stupid and most right-wingers are mostly stupid. And it's because of that stupidity that they go to all the effort of typing these stupid jibes and insults. Because they stupidly imagine that I'll care and because they're too stupid to type anything else.

So, trolls, if you find yourself reading this, it's sorta my offer to invite you to actually try to prove that I'm wrong and you're right. Try to make this pompous, stupid, unoriginal leftist feel the pain of having to admit to a scornful right-wing commentor that by jimbo, you the scornful commentator are right and that I'd best heat-up that big helping of crow.

But this offer is only for a limited time. If you continue with the useless assertions, I'll simply delete them.