Monday, April 15, 2019

Thoughts on Doug Ford


Lately I've been writing condemnations of "progressives." Because that's the team that I used to play on. They're the folks whose values seemed to line-up with my own. Also, in general, they appear to be far less stupid than what passes for thinking on the right-wing of the political spectrum. So it pains me to see them lose their minds over things like "Russia-gate" or to become shameless hacks for neo-liberal political parties. That is why I have yet another post critiquing progressives' stupidity underway. But lately, I've been growing increasingly disgusted with Ontario's premier, Doug Ford, and I think it's high time I wrote some thoughts about him.

Doug Ford is a piece of human garbage. A waste of rancid sperm. He's a discharge of santorum that somehow learned to walk and bray like a donkey.

Doug Ford as premier is an indictment of our society. It shows us that gigantic stupidity is not some unique product of US-American arrogance and capitalist junk-culture.


I don't know if Doug Ford's dad was genuinely stupid. (He did build a successful business after all.) But it's clear from his outbursts as an MPP in the murderously racist and incompetent and corrupt government of Mike Harris, that he was a complete asshole. And maybe him and Mrs. Ford weren't shitty parents. But the fact that two of Doug's siblings became hopeless drug addicts, and that his younger brother Rob grew up to be the extended version of Chris Farley's "Tommy Boy" (and an international embarrassment) while Doug himself has grown up to be a crude bully, fat tub of shit, corrupt, moronic, disgusting idiot, doesn't say a lot for their parenting skills.


Doug joined Toronto City Council, after previous careers as a high school drug dealer, college drop-out and beneficiary of nepotism at his father's business. This career move was inspired by jealousy over his fuck-up brother becoming Toronto's most lovable right-wing train-wreak (homophobe/ignoramus/etc.) councilor and then mayor. As councilor, Doug developed a reputation for being a thuggish, bullying, sinister and stupid presence at city hall. Rob ran for re-election as mayor despite having been shown on video smoking crack cocaine with gangsters. (This was difficult to reconcile with his stated "zero tolerance for drugs and gangs.") But Rob Ford wasn't your normal type of mayor. First of all, Canadian culture has a lot of built-in sympathy for a guy like him. To begin with, he was a white male. He liked sports. He was heterosexual. He liked booze. He liked food. When he shot-off his mouth he said things that mainstream Canadians like: He hated government spending, taxes, unions, environmentalists, uppity women and uppity minorities.

[Here's a thought-experiment: Imagine a female Rob Ford. How many guys who pumped their fists and roared "YAHHHHH!" when Rob Ford did or said something stupid would also cheer if a very overweight, drunken, crude middle-aged woman did or said the same thing?]

Ford's approval ratings went up after his crack-smoking allegations were confirmed. (On top of the people who celebrated Ford as the embodiment of their own secret gluttony and bigotry, there were also a lot of people who thought Ford was a funny joke and they wanted to keep it going.) Doug was running for re-election as councilor and Rob was on his way to winning re-election as mayor when he was diagnosed with cancer. Doug took over as mayoral candidate in Rob's place and almost won over another yammering silver-spoon incompetent, John Tory. (Rob Ford would lose his battle with cancer and died at the age of 46.)

Doug Ford served his term at Toronto City Council as the lackluster, factually-challenged, right-wing idiot that he is, while also taking the time to lose money for his father's firm and (allegedly) to stiff his brother's widow and their two children of the proceeds from Rob's estate. Then he orchestrated a coup against Ontario PC leader Patrick Brown and won the leadership race by signing-up Christo-fascist homophobes to support him by stating his unequivocal opposition to the Ontario Liberal government of Kathleen Wynne's new sex-education curriculum.


[I don't know all of the details of Wynne's sex-education reforms. But it did include valuable innovations regarding the importance of consent/personal safety in the internet age/and non-stupid presentation of the realities of GLBT issues. I've heard people complain that parents weren't consulted while other people say parents were consulted. One co-worker told me he heard it taught five year-olds about oral sex. I came up with the astonishing idea of investigating that claim online and we both found it to be false. I know that a lot of religious parents, who would disown, beat or kill their own children if they came-out as gay, because their stupid imaginary gods order them to, had a great deal of difficulty with legislation that didn't pander to their religious delusions.]

And so, with the support of religious bigots and imbeciles, as well as the support of a great deal of Ontario's business class, as well as support from bottom-feeding right-wing chumps, racists, closet-cases and other assorted fuck-ups, Doug Ford won a majority government. It's "The Common Sense Revolution" all over again.

As usual, Liberal hacks are spinning all of this as being Ontarians' punishment for not voting Liberal. And, while it is our dismal reality to live within an electorate comprised of people so debased that they vote for excrement like Doug Ford, the majority of voters are not so constituted. And the Ontario Liberals took them for granted. I was a constant critic of the Ontario Liberals austerity fetish and their massive corruption.  Just as I say to the hopeless Hillary-bots: We don't owe you our votes. You have to win them. If you'd rather pamper your plutocratic donor class than win elections, that's your decision.

According to these demented centrists, ordinary people must resign themselves to two choices: Monsters like Donald Trump and Doug Ford; or corrupt, miserable, austerity-pushing, semi-social progressives like the Democrats and the Liberals. And we are, supposedly, supposed to engage in this depressing progress forever until ecocidal capitalism makes our planet uninhabitable.

Of course, when it comes to corruption, it's unfair to ignore the gigantic hypocrisy and brazen thievery of "conservatives." We all lived through the harper years. We know the depths these scum will happily sink to. And now we have Doug Ford. Again, a spoiled entitled brat. Mismanaging the family firm that he inherited. An enabler of his brother's self-destructive, illegal behaviour. Now he's in charge of Canada's largest province. What's he doing?

I'll tell you tomorrow.


2 comments:

zoombats said...

Well thirty percent of a deficient voter turn out can't be wrong can they?

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy...

Just sayin...

thwap said...

Hi zoombats,

Hah. Warren Zevon.

That sums up the public's response to the Ford brothers. Making light, making excuses, celebrating their rich, white, male entitlement.