Sunday, May 22, 2011

"Slut Walk" reflections of a 40-something white guy

So, I was sitting down having a conversation with (seriously) one of the most beautiful women in the world, and she asked me my thoughts on "Slut Walk" and I said it was a good thing.

Because I have a soft spot in my heart for sluts. For me it's a term of endearment. Sure, sluts might be carrying something, ... sometimes they catch these things from people who really aren't sluts, because STDs are the luck of the draw and not divine punishment for having a strong sexual appetite.

And besides, if you don't want to catch something from a slut (not that all sluts are carrying STDs anyway), then don't fuck a slut.

But all that is neither here nor there. We're also talking about "dressing like a slut." As in, ... that'll get you raped.

I'll tell you all something. No means "NO." And I'll tell you something else: One time I was walking home from a party (a drunken early-20's) and I was begging this jeune-fille to let me fuck her when we got to her place and she kept saying "no" and when we got to her place and I dutifully took my place on the couch I gave her a kiss on the forehead and she looked at me with this surprised look on her face, that that was really the end of it. But she'd told me "no" at least half a dozen times so it was "no."

Another gal, ... same story, but she seemed sober (I don't know, I was quite drunk and I'd met her and some friends at an all-nite coffee shop and she seemed sober enough to drive) so she drove me home and I still wanted to talk, so even though she'd told me "no" I asked her in for a night-cap (this is the 1980s when "none for the road" was a revolutionary concept) and we talked and drank for about an hour until i was too tired and drunk for anything and i said "Well, i'm about ready to collapse and I guess you'll want to get going" and she looked at me mystified.

Thing is, "No" means no.

Because listen guys. What if I only drunkenly imagined those looks of confusion? What if the sober reality is that neither of those young women wanted to have sex after all? The weaker party, in a just world, should always be free to change their minds. And those in a position to force their wills should, in a just world, always defer to their opposites as equals. Because that's what the stronger would want for themselves should they find themselves in a position where they are the weaker party.

I'm glad that I erred on the side of caution in those instances. I'm glad that I didn't allow some stupid drunken delusion lead me to committing a crime I would forever regret.

Because if your step-daughter is sitting on your couch watching tv and she looks really attractive in her youth and femininity, ... she's not asking you, her step-father, to rape her.

If you brow-beat some drunken female into submitting to you and she lies there crying and coming in and out of consciousness, ... you're not having sex with her, ... you're raping her.

And, it's like this: If some woman happens to have a nice set of curves and she likes some attention now and then, or if she wants to attract a guy at a dance-club and then PICK one of the guys she's attracted, ... or shit, even if she wants to drive guys crazy and go home, ... none of that is any reason to assault her.

Personally, as I've said, I like sluts. They make me feel kindly. I would rue the day if all the stupid rapists in the world convinced all the women who wanted to dress like sluts to not dress like sluts.

But hey. Isn't reality the way it is whether we like it or not? Aren't there sexist creeps out there who will take some mini-dress and high-heels as a sign saying "Rape Me"?

Well, yes. But here's the thing: If a guy goes out jogging at 10pm. is he asking to be held down and fucked up the ass and then get his throat slit so he won't be able to tell anybody about what just happened?

No?

So, why should women have to live their lives according to the whims of scumbag losers?

Because, when people talk about women reducing their chances of being raped, ... they often just leave it at that, ... as if there's no further work to be done. As if telling women to accommodate sexism is enough.

Because that's what it is, ... sexism. The idea that the female gender is inferior to you, ... that you can impose yourself upon it, ... , that it doesn't matter, ... that they're all "sluts" or whatever, ... that they deserve it, ... that YOU deserve them, ... etc., etc., ... it's SEXISM that makes guys rape women. (I disagree with feminists who say it's about power, not sex, ... I think it's the male desire for sex, and wishing to have the power to be able to take it regardless of the other person's feelings, ... although i'm no expert on the mindsets of rapists, so I'll leave it at that.)

So, ordinary folks who say, "Don't dress like a slut, because ..." might not be validating rape, but they're enabling it, because they leave it at that. They leave it to innocent women to accommodate rapists.

But when cops do it ... it's worse. In the same way that somebody at a restaurant can make a racist slur, but if the waiter does it, ... that's discrimination. Cops don't get to say to wealthy people who've been burgled, ... "What did you expect? Ostentatious home. Three car garage. Ferrari in the driveway. You're asking for it!"

The law says: "Don't break into people's homes and steal their shit." END OF STORY.

The law says: "Don't hold somebody down and physically assault them." ALSO END OF STORY.

So, when cops say "Don't dress like a slut," ... they're totally giving out the wrong signal.

Women have their own individual sexualities. End of story. Whatever they do with it, ... it's NEVER an invitation for you, or any other creep who gets the idea into his stupid head, ... to impose yourself into their life and scar them with memories of your sick, stupid, violent, twisted, loserdom forever.

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